My coding improvement < than I expected

I’ve definitely been slacking with coding. Schools been burning me out, and you’d think with less to do technically I’d make the time to work on coding. Over the summer I litterally only had 3 hours to work on my craft and I have so much time to do that here. Honestly Half the time I just sit here trying to find ways to CALM down  and destress. Stressing is time consuming and I wish I had control over it. My coding classes at my university aren’t as hands on as I hoped its super conceptual- but I guess thats just how university is. I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands I’m going to take on a new coding project ever 2 weeks that I wish to complete. I will upload my projects onto github and try to gain feedback from complete strangers or on the internet. or even approach my professors and ask them for their advice. either way its going to happen. Today I’m going to do a whole mess of readings for a film and business communication class and as my treat I’m going to pick my first project 🙂 I’m excited again about coding. I also might look into ladies learning to code workships… i just really want to make female coding friends. I go into my classes and see NO women to talk to. I mean the guys are ok. most of them stare at me and don’t speak. and i really wished i was joking

on a brighter note, my fitness has been going really well. I think I’m the strongest I’ve ever been in my life. which is either really sad or REALLY GOOD, I’m going to pick the latter. I can’t say I have muscles, but I can say that i CAN do 1 really really really good pushup and thats more than I could ever hope for. OH AND I’m not scared of the squat rack which has honestly been my dilemma for the last 3 years of my life (I’m not kidding. )

stay grateful internet

Don’t let anything burn out your passion

I’m coming to terms with what I can or can’t handle. Something i really never completely understood after going through the mess that was last year. I’m really proud of myself.

I’m realizing now that I need to drop a course that is really important. Ive tried so hard, and I’m going to keep trying. Thats going to be my new goal. To work on my brain more, to challenge it. But at this point of my academic career, I need to look at the numbers.. I need to make sure I’m doing well so i don’t get kicked out of school. I have a second chance at my path, I have a second chance at life. I’m going to give it my best shot. I deserve to do my best, I deserve to reap the best possible benefits of this brain of mine .I know I can do extraordinary things, but I’m still healing- I’m still fragile and I need to be careful. I never want to be back to how I was last year. I know what I want and I’m going to get there. It’s just hard for me to conceptualize the fact that my plans aren’t going to always go the way I want. After all its not like i have full control anyways. This is what I need to do. I need to talk to professors though, theres another course I need to take for my major.. and requires the course I need to drop as a core requisite. I know, if I show that I’m a passionate individual,explain my circumstances.. assure them I will be taking it next year.